When I was very young, I asked my dad about life and death. I asked him where the deceased go, leaving their mortal homes behind. I asked him if they ever come back. He looked at me and pretended to think for a while, brows furrowed, his fingers lightly scratching his cheek, like he was summoning that little bit of information from the depths of his knowledge.
“There’s a huge ball of vibrant, flowing energy, miles away from our earth-” I asked him if he was talking about heaven, he shrugged and continued, “that ball, it is brighter than the sun even, and thus, a million times more generous. Every second of every day, it sends a little speck of its light to earth. A piece of it to the ones who need and want it. That speck of light then comes here and takes the form of all the elements. You know them, right? It brightens our planet until it can. It has a time limit, of course. After all, the ball cannot stay away from its very loved part for long now, can it?” I thought about that and wondered if I’d be able to stay away from my hands for so long and shuddered. No.
“So, once its time is over, the little light joins back its ball. But is its time really ever over? It can always go back to earth sometimes, the only limit is that it has to come back” which brought me to my next question- do the stars love the ball? “Some are scared of it, you see. Scared of what they complete. So, they try to stay for as long as they can, but once they go back, there’s peace. The other little lights they befriended on earth meet them back in the ball, and they complete each other then. Yes, they are scared initially, but then the happiness comes back because they’re together once again. You see, they were never really apart. Tell me why?”
“Because they were one, ever since forever?”
Dad laughed “Yes, because they know that they live in each other, they’re the same. They’re one. Sometimes, they can’t stay together, but they can’t stay apart either. They shine in their own bright ways, and they’re unique. They’re all thus they’re one.
Those specks of light, they are us. You, me. Your mom. Everyone you love.”
Even Brandy, our pet dog? “Yes, even him”.
Even the people I don’t love? “Unfortunately.”
You know Diya pushed me for no reason when she was behind me in the assembly line, right? “Even Diya.”
Hm. I thought about the similarities we shared over our differences and then-
So that means we’re the same, AND SINCE you’re driving I can drive TOO! Please dad the steering wheel is so cool, pleassseeee? “I regret this already.”
I know you’re laughing.
When I recalled this memory today, I knew dad was telling me that he will always be there for me. But, a part of me wonders, and can’t stop wondering,
what if life and death are actually synonyms and not antonyms like most think they are?
