I Spent An Hour Thinking Of A Title But I Couldn’t Come Up With Any:/
You know how people use art to understand themselves?
You watch a movie and you sort of look for yourself in its characters.
You read a book and you realize the protagonist thinks a lot like you but you may even find yourself understanding the antagonist sometimes.
In songs, there are lyrics that scream your name and there are paintings that have captured the little things you thought only you had caught lingering around and for a second,
it feels so damn relieving no?
To realize that someone somewhere understands you and that you aren’t alone in your thinking.
But what about when it gets too much? What about when you also remember how the little pieces of yourself that you caught in others, the ones which once made you feel so unique aren’t even your own today?
It’s sad but beautiful, I guess.
Anyway, while you look for yourself in art, I think I give myself to it.
You may find your tears in my sadness,
your giggles in my laughter,
your struggles in my disasters,
your compassion in my love,
your confusion in my paradox-ity,
your lover in the poems about my own,
yourself in my thoughts,
and maybe it angers you.
Maybe you want to drag me away from my notebooks so you can force me to erase the existence of all the poems I wrote that felt like a mirror to you.
Maybe you want to hold me close to yourself for a bit, cry and tell me again and again how long you’ve waited to be found.
Or maybe you want nothing to do with me again.
In any case, I hope you know all the pieces of yourself that you’ve found in my poems stop being mine once I write them down because they start being yours the instant you read them. So, in a way, you’re as unique as you can be.
I’m addicted to the thrill of disassembling myself so much there’s not much left of me to give already.
Maybe, one day, when I’m nothing, we will cross paths and I will hold you close to myself so I can have a look at the pieces I gave away so freely.
I have only one request from you, though.
Can you promise me you will always take care of them instead of giving them away as well?
